Discipline your children, and they will give you peace of mind and will make your heart glad.
Proverbs 29:17
Discipline can be a very controversial topic, and like most such topics, there are opinions and there is what God says in His Word, the Bible. As our ministry seeks to point people to Jesus and the Bible for answers to life’s challenges, we’ll look at discipline from a biblical perspective.
As loving discipline is one of the greatest acts of love parents can give their children, here’s some of what the Bible says about discipline:
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. (Proverbs 22:6)
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4)
Do not withhold discipline from a child… (Proverbs 23:13)
Scolding and spanking a child helps him to learn. Left to himself, he brings shame to his mother. (Proverbs 29:15)
No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way. (Hebrews 12:11)
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise—“so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” (Ephesians 6:1-3)
Part of the controversy around the discipline of children likely stems from wanting to avoid one of two unhealthy extremes:
- Being too lenient
- Being too harsh
Thoughts to consider if your goal is to administer loving discipline:
- It’s most effective when administered between the ages of 18 months and 8 years.
- If done correctly, it should only be needed in the short term.
- Calmly and clearly explain expectations and boundaries to the child.
- Clearly explain the consequences of disobedience and give reasonable warning.
- Faithfully follow through on what you tell them will happen.
- It must be done consistently in the same way by both parents (if both are present).
Loving discipline is very hard to administer amid the chaos and busyness of life, but it’s more than worth the effort and teamwork it takes. When you are too busy and tired, it’s easy and natural to err on the side of being too lenient, or too harsh.
If you choose spanking as a consequence of poor behavior:
- Let your children know well in advance that you don’t want to spank them because it hurts.
- Make it clear you have no desire to hurt them.
- Ask them to mind you so that you won’t need to spank them.
- If you spank, shortly afterwards set them on your lap and reaffirm your love for them.
- Say you are sorry you needed to spank them and ask, “Do you understand why I spanked you?” Make sure they do.
The consequence doesn’t need to be spanking, if you can come up with an alternative consequence that’s effective at correcting poor behavior.
We hope the above information is helpful to parents and grandparents, and that many will pass it on to their friends and relatives who might benefit from this material.
Loving discipline is one of the greatest acts of love parents can give their children!
Discipline your children, and they will give you peace of mind and will make your heart glad.
Proverbs 29:17