5 Tips for Life-Changing Communication in Marriage

1. Pray together
Ask God to help you become the spouse He wants you to be.

2. Prepare to be humbled
Be on guard to avoid being defensive or making excuses.

3. Ask the right questions
A wife’s primary need is to be loved by her husband. Husband, ask your wife, “How have I failed to love you?” “When do you feel loved by me?” A husband’s primary need is for respect. Wife, ask your husband, “How have I failed to respect you?” “When do you feel respected by me?”

4. Be other minded as you listen to your spouse’s answers
Why? Because you want to have greater interest in meeting your spouse’s needs than you do in having your own needs met. If either spouse is more interested in getting what they need, you should expect two argumentative monologues that go nowhere. If you want to experience life-changing communication, be an other-minded listener.

5. Be truthful and transparent
Give each other the freedom to share with one another what is really keeping you from meeting the needs of your spouse.

• Are you too busy with work, the kids, other responsibilities?
• Do you have greater interest in having your needs met than in you meeting the needs of your spouse?
• Is there any fear, resentment, or unforgiveness that you have been hiding and haven’t shared?
• Is there anything else you have been afraid to share with your spouse?
• If your spouse’s answers irritate or anger you, ask yourself why. Share the answer with your spouse.
• Anything else getting in the way? Discuss what you will do to eliminate these barriers.

30-minute free coaching

Do you seek to become a better listener? Are you willing to ask questions of people with opposing views to better understand why they see things differently than you do? Would you like to see argumentative monologues replaced with honest dialogue? If so, we are offering 30 minutes of free coaching on ways to achieve those goals.